Difficulty with Automatic Processing is Common in Autism

It’s common for people with autism to experience difficulties with automatic processing. Neurotypical individuals can perform tasks without consciously thinking about each step, but someone with autism may need to consciously focus on every action, as things don’t happen automatically. This requires significant mental effort, similar to solving a difficult math problem, and doesn’t allow for relaxation.

These difficulties can influence the activities a person with autism chooses to do, and how they behave in daily life. Here’s how it affects me:

1. I Avoid Most Physical Activities

I would never dream of participating in activities like bowling or mini golf. These feel like torture because I expend a lot of energy simply performing them – and I can’t build up endurance; I’ve tried for nearly 30 years and become just as exhausted each time. I do make an exception for monotonous activities like walking, cycling (though stationary biking is even easier, as it doesn’t require attention to surroundings), going to the gym, and swimming. With these, my brain doesn’t need to focus as much!

2. I Can’t Manage Cleaning

Cleaning is mentally draining for me, which is why I have a support worker who handles it. A psychologist explained to me that three-year-olds often tire easily from cleaning because they haven’t yet learned to do it automatically. As children develop, cleaning becomes automatic, so adults don’t get as tired. However, I still expend the same amount of energy as a child, and the act of cleaning itself is draining. Before my diagnosis, my landlord threatened to evict me because I couldn’t manage to keep the place clean. I genuinely couldn’t manage it.

3. I’m Reluctant to Visit New Places

When I need to visit a new place, I have to consciously think about how to get there. I have to force my brain to remember the route for future trips, which is mentally taxing. Even using Google Maps requires a lot of energy. I only use it for work, like finding a lecture hall, but avoid visiting new places in my personal life. People sometimes think I’m joking when I tell them I walk the same route around my neighborhood and haven’t explored other nearby streets.

4. I Prefer Not to Do Activities with Others

I have no problem taking the stairs instead of the elevator when I’m alone. But if I’m with someone else, I’d rather take the elevator; it takes energy to think about the steps while also holding a conversation. Walking stairs is a mentally demanding activity for me. And speaking of socializing, I prefer to walk alone so I don’t have to think about two things at once. While walking takes less energy than bowling, I still prefer to be alone while doing it. If I’m socializing, I’d rather sit and talk, though I can sometimes compromise and walk if my companion really wants to, but it leaves me more tired.

5. I Prefer Using the Kitchen Alone

I prefer to be alone in the kitchen when I’m doing dishes, cooking, or anything else. When I visited my parents this past summer, I became frustrated when one of them came in while I was in there, because it broke my concentration. Even though I was hungry and wanted to make breakfast, I waited to see if the kitchen was free first. It takes less energy to be hungry than to use the kitchen when someone else is present. Having another person in the kitchen creates too much stimulation for my brain and impairs my automatic processing.

6. I Can’t Manage “Seeing” with My Brain

This can be hard for others to understand. When I see something, my brain has to consciously “translate” it so my mind understands what the visual impression means. For example, if someone has their hands full, I don’t instinctively open the door for them because I can’t focus and consciously register that they need help. My eyes see the person, but my brain doesn’t process the situation unless I consciously force it to focus. That’s also why I often don’t notice spoiled food in the refrigerator; it takes too much energy for my brain to constantly interpret visual information. That’s why my support workers check my refrigerator for me.

7. I Need to Be Well-Rested

I skip evening activities, even ones I enjoy, because I feel terrible when I’m tired, especially if I have something planned for the next day. I can’t adequately describe how bad I feel! Due to difficulties with automatic processing, even showering requires energy when I’m rested, but it takes significantly more when I haven’t slept well. Sleep difficulties are common among people with autism, and it’s a major issue. Because of these difficulties, many of us need considerably more rest than neurotypical people!

8. I Have Chosen to Not Have Children

I’ve always loved children, but I wouldn’t be able to cope with being a parent. I wouldn’t be able to manage the extra necessary chores, like changing diapers or dressing a child, because they would be incredibly draining. On top of that, I’d have to consciously focus on interpreting what my child is doing and ensuring they’re safe, because my brain doesn’t automatically process visual information. And the sleep deprivation would be even harder to handle.

Many people suggest that mother’s instinct takes over and a parent will always find the strength, but I discussed this with an autism-aware psychologist. She explained that it’s a myth that all parents can handle parenthood and never regret having children. She’s worked with patients with autism and difficulties with automatic processing who placed their children in foster care because they couldn’t cope, and bitterly regretted becoming parents because of the exhaustion. I fear that could happen to me, given my significant difficulties with automatic processing.

I know that some autistic people doubted their ability to parent but ultimately managed to do so successfully. There are many excellent autistic parents, but the fact that some have proven their initial doubts wrong doesn’t automatically mean the same will be true for me. It’s important to remember that every autistic person is an individual and can manage different things. Some can handle parenthood, but for me, it’s the right decision to refrain from having children.

Finally, please note that this blog is written from a personal perspective. We autistic people are all unique individuals. Some will relate to what I write, and others won’t. Not all autistic people have difficulties with automatic processing, and these difficulties can vary from person to person. So, not all autistic people experience the same challenges I do!

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Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if life feels hopeless! Here’s a list of helplines and phone support services in the US you can contact if you need assistance. For people outside the US this page lists helplines for people in need of immediate mental help support during a mental health crisis.