Autism Means Small Things Can Feel Like the Whole World

Some people dismiss the challenges autistic individuals face. However, even seemingly minor disruptions can be incredibly stressful for an autistic person! Some time ago, I read a comment on my blog from someone who disliked guests arriving early and felt they shouldn’t be expected to answer the door immediately. Another autistic person wondered if it was really a crisis when a guest arrived just fifteen minutes ahead of schedule.

It can cause intense stress

But for an autistic person, those unexpected moments can feel like a crisis. It’s not an exaggeration. These unpredictable events can cause intense stress, potentially ruining his och her entire day. Some might experience a panic attack, while others simply feel overwhelmed. For many, however, these disruptions are significant enough to seriously impact their quality of life – which is why predictability is so vital. Respecting established schedules, like arrival times, is a key part of that.

Autism is a Spectrum

It’s crucial to remember that autism manifests in countless ways. Each autistic person experiences unique struggles, and the intensity of those challenges varies enormously. One person might not even notice an early arrival, another might be mildly annoyed, a third might manage to cope on a good day, and a fourth might be completely derailed. Everyone has a different capacity for handling unexpected events.

It’s About More Than Just Annoyance

This applies to other situations too. I’m autistic, and I find crowded environments far more difficult to navigate than most people. For example, standing on a packed subway during rush hour is exhausting for me. I’ll cycle whenever I can, but when the weather doesn’t allow it, I always head for the middle car – it’s usually less crowded. I expend a lot of mental energy making sure I’m positioned correctly on the platform to avoid getting on the wrong train. While many people find crowded subways irritating, they don’t seem to expend the same energy just getting comfortable.

It Doesn’t Define My Day

However, I actually cope with public transport relatively well! I just feel tired afterward, but it doesn’t negatively impact my overall quality of life. I don’t dread rush hour on the subway, and the after-effects aren’t as debilitating as some other activities. But for many other autistic people, public transport is deeply distressing. Some will walk for hours in the rain to avoid it, while others rely on paratransit to leave the house at all.

Worlds Apart

The discomfort I experience on the subway is completely different from what others might feel. It’s night and day! For me, a crowded ride isn’t the end of the world, even though I dislike it. But for someone else, it absolutely can be. That’s why I can’t say, “Well, I’m autistic too, and I can manage the subway if I try. So you should be able to as well.” A key part of my work as an autism lecturer is emphasizing that an autism diagnosis tells you very little about the specific challenges a person faces, or how severely those challenges impact them. That’s why it’s so important to never compare autistic people to each other.

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Please reach out to me via the contact form if you’d like to book me for a lecture on autism or an interview about my life with autism. You can find more information about me and my lectures here.

Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if life feels hopeless! Here’s a list of helplines and phone support services in the US you can contact if you need assistance. For people outside the US this page lists helplines for people in need of immediate mental help support during a mental health crisis.