Neurodiversity is more than just a label; it’s a spectrum of experiences, and these 10 insights will help you understand why.
1. We Need to Talk More About Neurodiversity
It’s frustrating how often people think we talk too much about neurodevelopmental conditions, when in reality, we don’t talk nearly enough. As long as parents of autistic and ADHD children are accused of “overparenting,” challenges are dismissed with phrases like “Neurodiversity isn’t an excuse to avoid effort,” and the importance of accommodations is overlooked, I’ll continue to share information through my books, lectures, and blog. Let’s keep this vital conversation going and make sure all voices are heard!
2. Neurodiversity Isn’t About Parenting
While all parents make mistakes, neurodevelopmental conditions have absolutely nothing to do with upbringing. Consider families with multiple children – some neurodivergent, others not – all raised by the same parents in roughly the same way. The fact that siblings within the same family can have different experiences clearly isn’t down to parenting. And think about children with ADHD who are labeled as “poorly behaved,” but whose behavior improves dramatically when they start medication. How do you explain that effect if ADHD wasn’t related to neurological differences?
3. And Speaking of ADHD Medication…
ADHD medication isn’t a cure-all, and it doesn’t work for everyone. So please, don’t tell those of us with neurodivergent conditions, “Just take ADHD medication, and you won’t need any support or accommodations.” Research shows medication isn’t effective for everyone, and it won’t automatically solve everything. Some people experience great results, which is wonderful! But I’ve tried various types and only experienced terrible side effects, so I stopped – a decision my doctor supported. I wouldn’t be able to manage without support services just by taking medication, and I don’t want to risk further side effects by trying more. Remember, medication can be a tool, but it’s no guarantee of an easy life.
4. Life With Neurodiversity Isn’t Luxurious
Some claim neurodivergent individuals are handed everything on a silver platter – things like shortened school days, a more relaxed work pace, disability benefits, or home care assistance. But let me assure you, living with neurodiversity isn’t “luxury!” Yes, I receive cleaning assistance, but that also means I often feel exhausted and have to miss out on things others take for granted, like starting a family, because I simply wouldn’t have the energy. And my support services aren’t always perfect. Let’s stop romanticizing support and acknowledge the real challenges that come with neurodiversity.
Getting home care isn’t as simple as contacting the local authority and saying, “I have autism and ADHD.” A thorough assessment of functional capacity is required, and many neurodivergent individuals are denied support even when they desperately need it. We’re often given far too little support, certainly not too much!
5. We Neurodivergent Individuals Aren’t Lazy
When a 95-year-old politely asks for a seat on the bus, would you call them entitled or lazy for not wanting to stand like “everyone else”? Hopefully not. So why treat neurodivergent individuals differently? If a neurodivergent person receives disability benefits because they can’t meet the demands of the workforce, it doesn’t mean they’re lazy. It simply means their brain functions differently, and they face cognitive differences that make it hard to meet societal expectations. Empathy and understanding are essential to breaking down prejudices and creating a more just world!
6. Neurodiversity Isn’t Always Visible
Have you ever dismissed the challenges of a neurodivergent person, assuming they’re exaggerating, lacking self-confidence, or capable of more than they let on? If so, you might be mistaken. Cognitive differences affect brain function, and we process information and sensory input differently. These challenges aren’t always visible, but they’re very real. Telling me to just “believe in myself” won’t fix my difficulties, any more than telling someone in a wheelchair to boost their self-esteem will make them walk. The difference is my disability isn’t always apparent. Remember: invisible doesn’t mean less real!
7. You Don’t Know What’s Best for the Neurodivergent Person
Do you work with children or adults, including neurodivergent individuals? Do you question parents or family members when they tell you what support the person needs? Do you think that after working with people for decades, you automatically know what your students or clients need? I’m sure you have good people skills, but if you haven’t received specific training in neurodiversity, you shouldn’t voice opinions on what a neurodivergent person is best suited to. If a neurodivergent parent explains that school trips negatively impact their child, they’re likely right. What works for neurotypical children doesn’t always work for neurodivergent children!
8. Not All Neurodivergent Individuals Are the Same
Yes, I understand. Your cousin may have autism and ADHD and has managed to thrive, working full-time without accommodations and requiring no other support. But we neurodivergent individuals are all different. We have different challenges, co-occurring diagnoses, personalities, resources, and strengths. Just because your cousin can do certain things doesn’t mean everyone can, and it’s not about motivation or attitude! The fact that your cousin works full-time doesn’t invalidate anyone else’s need for disability benefits. Just as some 90-year-olds need to live in a care home while others can live independently, we neurodivergent individuals require varying levels of support. Everyone is different, and we’re no exception.
9. Your Attitude Makes a Difference
Many of us with autism and ADHD find that it’s often other people’s attitudes and lack of accessibility, rather than the diagnosis itself, that create difficulties. It’s not a problem for me to have support services or accommodations at work, but it becomes a problem when you make it one! It wasn’t a problem for me to want to play alone during recess, but it became a huge problem when the teacher tried to force me to socialize. I often say that other people’s attitudes and how they treat us are crucial to whether a neurodivergent person can have a good quality of life.
10. Neurodiversity Isn’t Just About Difficulties
Do you think neurodiversity is only a disadvantage? Think again! Many neurodivergent individuals – though not all – have exceptional strengths. You receive a neurodevelopmental diagnosis because of challenges, but that doesn’t mean strengths aren’t also present. Many of us are creative, deeply engaged in our special interests, can hyperfocus, and notice details that others miss. To help neurodivergent individuals thrive, focus on our strengths, not just our difficulties. Let’s celebrate the unique talents that neurodiversity offers!
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